mission: joyful life: July 2015

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Facebook Shmacebook

Facebook and I had a break up, at least for now. We're having a long separation. Why?

1. I was spending too much time with Facebook. I was feeling smothered and thus, unhealthy. I realized I didn't even know how many times a day I was looking at it on my phone, and even when I took the app off my phone, I still went to the website too frequently. I felt I was ignoring my kids and trying to escape into Facebook too often.

2. I realized I didn't like the way it made me feel. I felt that Facebook didn't allow me to be who I wanted to be and sometimes I felt sick when I was with Facebook. I felt like I was always tip-toeing around, trying not to say or "like" anything that would offend someone. When I'm with Facebook, I care too much about being "liked" and how I am perceived by others. I worry about whether or not people will think I'm too conservative or religious, or maybe not enough. I don't feel I can be my true self when I'm with Facebook.

3. Facebook is too political for me. After the latest news about the marriage laws and presidential elections coming up, being with Facebook has felt like I'm in a battle zone, and it gets tiring. (I have A LOT of friends from the most liberal area of the U.S. and it takes a toll to see their rants every day, and I even unfollowed hundreds of them years ago but it STILL feels like a lot). Facebook is bringing me down and I don't need that negativity in my life. Lately it has brought back all the feelings of the last presidential election and the last time we dealt with the the marriage laws and I was torn to shreds, berated, and unfriended. And it hurt a lot to be rejected for who I am and my beliefs. But the thing is, I am perplexed at why this hurt me and affected me so much since I was mostly treated this way by people whom I had said only 3 or 4 words to in Junior High, and more often than that it was by complete strangers. I think it hurt my pride which I need to get over by now, but I guess Facebook just makes me feel weird, anxious, and sad in general.

4. I recently re-watched a talk by Elder Uchtdorf from 2 years ago called "Of Regrets and Resolutions," and he spoke about how we will regret it if we waste too much time on social media. I felt the message was for me.

Basically, when it comes to Facebook, I'm not receiving enough of a benefit from it to stay in the relationship. Being liked on Facebook has become something I worry about way too much. Instead of Facebook being a tool to serve me in having fun connecting with friends, it's almost become something that controls me. And I'm done.

I will probably go on once in a while if I have something to share and I'll do some catching up, but I'm thinking it will be limited. I'm looking to simplify my life.