My Discussion of Gay Marriage on Facebook

Last week the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints held a fireside wherein Elder Ballard asked members in California to continue our efforts in supporting Prop 8. He asked for the young people who are computer savvy to spread the word through blogs, social networking sites, etc. and to join the conversations happening on this issue. So I joined the Facebook Group "Protect Marriage: One Man One Woman." Here is the reaction of a few friends I went to high school with, and my responses.

Friend 1: I believe gay marriage should be legalized in the United States. It is not right to deny people the opportunity to marry the person they love because they are of the same gender. Gay couples are denied significant rights when they are not allowed to marry. The arguments against legalizing same sex marriage do no merit the legal support of the state since the state's job is not to promote popular morality or opinion, but the rights of it's citizens.

Me: I totally respect your opinion. Thank you for sharing with me. As I understand it, in California, the law provides for marriage-related benefits to be given to civil unions and domestic partnerships. Prop 8 does not diminish these benefits.

Friend 2: DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIPS and MARRIAGE AREN’T THE SAME.

CALIFORNIA STATUTES CLEARLY IDENTIFY NINE REAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MARRIAGE AND DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIPS. Only marriage provides the security that spouses provide one another—it’s why people get married in the first place!

Think about it. Married couples depend on spouses when they’re sick, hurt, or aging. They accompany them into ambulances or hospital rooms, and help make life-and-death decisions, with no questions asked. ONLY MARRIAGE ENDS THE CONFUSION AND GUARANTEES THE CERTAINTY COUPLES CAN COUNT ON IN TIMES OF GREATEST NEED.

Regardless of how you feel about this issue, we should guarantee the same fundamental freedoms to every Californian.
Source: noonprop8.com

Me: California Family Code
http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/displaycode?section=fam&group=00001-01000&file=297-297.5 (a) "Registered domestic partners shall have the same rights, protections, and benefits, and shall be subject to the same responsibilities, obligations, and duties under law, whether they derive from statutes, administrative regulations, court rules, government policies, common law, or any other provisions or sources of law, as are granted to and imposed upon spouses." The only right same sex unions don't have is to call their union a "marriage." See http://www.calchannel.com/MEDIA/0304A.asx where both sides make their oral arguments before the CA Supreme Court wherein the advocates for gay rights admit that there are no substantial differences between marriage and domestic partnerships. They are fighting to have the constitutional definition of marriage changed to include a man/ man & a woman/ woman which will have serious consequences on schools, churches & the family.

Friend 1: As a very close and smart friend said to me today, this isn't so much about marriage, but about equal rights for all people. Every person should have the right to marry. What right do you have to take that away from someone? What if the roles were reversed? How would you feel? You talk of serious consequences on schools, churches and families, what are you so scared of? Because I really think that's what it comes down to. Open your eyes. By voting yes on prop 8 your taking peoples rights away from them, no one should be able to do that.

Me: I understand where you're coming from & I don't want to offend. I respect the agency people have to choose whomever they want to be with & I do not antagonize anyone based on their sexual orientation. Still I believe my concerns about the consequences of changing the constitutional definition of marriage are legitimate. If it is changed, public schools may be required to teach same sex marriage to children which will confuse. Churches may be sued for choosing not to perform same sex marriages. Freedom of Religion or Freedom of Speech may be at risk. I believe God ordained marriage to be between a man and a woman since the beginning with Adam & Eve, and His plan is for us to come to earth in families with a father & mother. I support Prop 8, NOT to discriminate or because I want to take away rights (it doesn't take away rights), but to stand up for these things. That's what's so great about America- we both get to stand up for what we believe! :) I've learned a lot!

Last night I couldn't sleep because I was up wondering if my responses were good enough, and I only had a limited amount of space. I worry about being misunderstood and if I conveyed my testimony well enough without offending. It's so hard when people know nothing of Christian teachings and the sanctity of marriage. But I'm doing my best-- I hope that it's good enough.

Here's another conversation I joined:

Friend A: "yes on 8" signs popped up around our new neighborhood while we were away this weekend. Should I be afraid?

Friend B: I think you should engage in friendly neighborly conversation about why their opinions suck.

Friend C: I would be worried.... In LA the signs are "no on 8," I guess we'll see in November what California is made up of.

Me: No need to be afraid, especially cause I'm one of them! :) (for religious reasons, not to discriminate.)

I guess it makes me feel better to know I'm trying! I just REALLY do not want my children taught about homosexual behavior in elementary school. And I REALLY wish everyone could understand the Plan of Happiness!