So today was my first Parent/ Teacher Conference for Emma. Her teacher had many positive things to say such as:
Writes well
Follows directions well
Has great fine motor skills
Counts well
Recognizes almost all the letters of the alphabet and the sounds they make
Can cut and color well
Raises her hand before speaking
Speaks well in front of the class
Is a leader and an independent thinker
Is absolutely ready for Kindergarten
I am obviously happy and grateful for all these things,
BUT there was a BUT. . .
She tends be cliquey and bossy and leaves certain kids out
She can be very moody and stubborn when there's something she doesn't like/ want to do
And she doesn't always have a positive attitude
I don't want my child to become the mean girl at school, so obviously this concerns me! But I think some of it is normal, right? And she's only 4!! Gee whiz!! I don't think she even knows she's affecting other people the way she does yet. Her teacher said she is a leader but needs to learn to be a leader in a more positive way, but isn't she a little young to even know what that means? For now, we're going to regularly remind her to include everyone at school and be NICE to Everyone.
I don't even know where she gets this from-- I swear, I was the reserved one at that age, as was Alan. Maybe since Alan lives in Sacramento half the time because of school, she is lacking that male influence and discipline. Oh heaven help us for the teenage years!! I refuse to have a mean girl!!! But I also know that 4 year olds only comprehend so much. . .
P.S. Don't get me wrong-- we LOVE her school and her teachers, I was just a little surprised.
11 comments:
I've always heard that if your toddler is hard as a toddler/preschooler then the teenage years will be a breeze and the opposite. So maybe Emma and Macey will trade places and Emma will be easy and macey will be a horrible teenager! :) I don't think at 4 she does fully comprehend how her actions make people feel. Did you ever comprehend HOW much we have to teach our children? I think you are a great mom!!! Any ideas on how to make Connor stop throwing hard objects at his sisters head would be appreciated. :)
pretty sure that if she's the product of you and Alan, she's going to turn out to be one amazing girl!
oh thats such a sweet comment from Allison!
Emma is a GENIUS!!!!!!1
Oh, don't feel bad. So many people are going to have opinions about your kids, but you know their strengths and weaknesses the BEST! Just encourage those good qualities and make a point to tell her how great she is, cuz you know she is, even when she is less than perfect, and the rest will probably work itself out. Welcome to school!
Emma seems perfectly normal to me! What a wonderful gift of leadership! I say just mold and refine it and she will go forward and amaze you! I talk to my boys about being a leader, using that term, and taking opportunities when I watch them during a play date to explain whose turn it is to be the leader at that time, and how leaders treat those they lead. It really can be put simply enough for a three or four year old to understand. I have even used this on their friends when a sticky situation comes up, and they respond with understanding, even though I know they probably don't hear about "leaders" in their homes all the time. So go for it! Emma is so smart, I bet she'll pick this up so fast, and make you proud with the way she treats those she leads! She may just need to be reminded sometimes, like Ben, if she is "passionate" like Ben. :)
Love your title! You are hilarious. I have to tell you I was a terrible child! I always got grounded after parent teacher conferences--I was the class clown and I would start little clubs where other people couldn't join. So, I think I was probably pretty mean. My mom also told me I was a really bossy child and she worried about what I might turn out like. Also, my teachers let me know that I was a menace.
Well, in third grade, I had a teacher that made me feel like I was the most wonderful person. I remember her telling me that she saw me do something nice on the playground and she said she was so thankful that I was such a nice girl. I was like "Oh good, she thinks I'm nice!" From then on I always tried my hardest to be a good girl around her. That was a turning point for me and I just wrote that teacher a note last year to tell her thank you.
So, I hope your little sweetie is blessed with some good teachers that catch her doing wonderful things. I'm sure she will turn out great!
This post was comforting to read. Chloe is the EXACT same way! And another mom actually once told me that her son told her Chloe was mean. I don't think this mom realized how hurtful that was for me to hear! I've also found myself often feeling responsible, wondering what I did as a parent to make her this way. But truly, we must remember our personalities are formed in the pre-existence, and while we can encourage our children and set an example, a lot of their tendencies and personality traits are already in their make up. I'm sure there's some mission for Emma on this earth. I often remind myself that someday this sass and boldness will serve Chloe well.
oh Emma is such a smart talented girl! I wouldn't worry too much about it. I like what Yvonne said. Emma will do (and has already) amazing things!!
Donny was kicked out of Primary every Sunday and in the 4th grade he was suspended 4Xs. Now he is the perfect man ;c)! If you want some help all my patients keep talking about the book "Queen Bees and Wanna Bees" and their girls are Emma's age. They have told me the books assists parents in NOT raising Mean Girls.
I think are daughters are cut from the same mold! :) I think these strong-willed qualities will serve them well someday. We just have to get there! She is only 4 and she will do great and already is. I have some of the same issues, I just keep having chats with her and hope some of my talking is sticking! :)
Zhara got her only low scores on listening & following directions & playing with others. I emailed her teacher & she said that she doesn't always talk nice to others and has a hard time sitting still...ah the joys of parenting. We don't ever want to hear that our children aren't perfect, but they aren't & I guess I'm hoping the Lord will help me not take it personally when we get into kindergarten and the years beyond, but that I will just use it to teach her how she is supposed to act. So I feel ya!
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